The Smell of Rebellion - Bertie Carvel/Lauren Ward.mp3

[00:06.100]This school of late has started reeking -
[00:10.720]Quiet, maggots, when I’m speaking! -
[00:15.680]Reeking with a most disturbing scent...
[00:21.800]Only the finest nostrils smell it,
[00:24.150]But I know it oh-too-well.
[00:25.970]It is the odour of rebellion.
[00:28.350]It’s the bouquet of dissent!
[00:33.370]And you may bet your britches
[00:35.510]This headmistress
[00:36.660]Finds this foul odiferousness
[00:39.480]Wholly olfactorily insulting.
[00:44.100]And so to stop the stench’s spread,
[00:48.780]I find a session of phys. ed.
[00:52.650]Sorts the merely rank from the revolting.
[01:06.100]The smell of rebellion comes out in the sweat,
[01:10.670]And phys. ed. will get you sweating,
[01:13.910]And it won’t be long before I smell the pong
[01:17.360]Of aiding and abetting!
[01:21.010]A bit of phys. ed. will tell us who
[01:23.550]Has a head full of rebellious thoughts.
[01:26.450]Hold! Hold!
[01:28.670]Just like a rotten egg floats
[01:31.070]To the top of a bucket of water.
[01:35.330]The smell of rebellion!
[01:37.130]The stench of revolt!
[01:39.120]The reek of insubordination!
[01:43.090]The whiff of resistance!
[01:44.660]The pong of dissent!
[01:46.610]The funk of mutiny in action!
[01:50.450]Before a weed becomes too big and greedy,
[01:53.460]You really need to nip it in the bud.
[01:55.810]POSITION TWO!
[01:57.380]Before the worm starts to turn,
[01:59.700]You must scrape off the dirt,
[02:01.300]And rip it from the mud!
[02:04.640]The whiff of insurgence!
[02:06.180]The stench of intent!
[02:07.850]The reek of pre-pubescent protest!
[02:11.610]The funk of defiance!
[02:13.570]The odour of coup!
[02:15.690]The waft of anarchy in progress!
[02:19.110]Once we’ve exorcised/exercised these demons,
[02:22.320]They shall be too pooped for dreaming!
[02:24.410]Some double-time discipline
[02:27.160]Should stop the rot from setting in!
[02:32.380]All right - let’s step it up. Double-time!
[02:34.310]One, two, three, four!
[02:37.500]Discipline
[02:37.950]Discipline
[02:38.620]For children who aren’t listening,
[02:39.750]For midgets who are fidgeting
[02:41.030]And whispering in history,
[02:42.260]Their chattering and chittering,
[02:43.430]Their nattering and twittering,
[02:44.610]Is tempered with a smattering of
[02:46.200]Discipline.
[02:46.830]We must begin insisting
[02:48.470]On rigidity and discipline,
[02:49.620]Persistently resisting
[02:50.950]This anarchistic mischieving.
[02:52.230]These minutes you are frittering
[02:53.460]On pandering and pitying
[02:54.720]While little ones like this
[02:55.920]They just want discipline.
[02:56.830]The simpering and whimpering,
[02:58.580]The dribbling and the spittling,
[02:59.860]The ‘Miss, I need a tissue’
[03:01.320]Is an issue we can fix.
[03:02.340]There is no mystery to mastering
[03:03.830]The art of classroom mistressing.
[03:05.190]It’s discipline, discipline, discipline!
[03:07.070]The smell of rebellion!
[03:08.060]The stench of revolt!
[03:09.500]The reek of pre-pubescent plotting!
[03:12.300]The whiff of resistance!
[03:13.370]The pong of dissent!
[03:14.880]The funk of moral fibre rotting!
[03:20.130]Imagine a world with no children.
[03:25.200]Close your eyes and just dream.
[03:28.620]Imagine. Come on - try it...
[03:30.690]The peace and the quiet...
[03:32.520]A babbling stream...
[03:37.450]Now imagine a woods with a cottage,
[03:41.000]And inside that cottage we find
[03:45.920]A dwarf called Zeke, a carnival freak,
[03:49.910]Who can fold paper hats with his mind,
[03:52.940]And he says, \"Don’t let them steal your horses! No!\"
[03:58.040]\"Don’t let them throw them away! No!\"
[04:01.670]\"If you find your way through,\"
[04:03.710]\"They’ll be waiting for you,\"
[04:06.370]\"Singing \'neigh neigh\'!\"
[04:14.000]She’s mad!
[04:15.540]Aha! And there, just like I said,
[04:18.310]The stinking maggot rears his head.
[04:21.630]Even the squittiest, piteous mess
[04:24.760]Can harbour seeds of stinkiness.
[04:27.630]Have you ever seen anything more repellent?!
[04:29.960]Have you ever smelled anything worse
[04:32.620]Than that smell of rebellion?!
[04:35.650]The stench of revolt!
[04:38.550]The reek of insubordination!
[04:44.060]The whiff of resistance!
[04:46.990]The pong of dissent!
[04:49.500]And I will not stop ‘til you are squashed!
[04:53.910]‘Til this rebellion is quashed!
[04:56.580]‘Til glorious, sweaty discipline has washed
[05:00.860]This sickening scent...
[05:07.130]Away!